creative writing

  • Poetry & Inspirational Writing
  • Letters to James

by Abby York

Old soul

Avatar of the outcasted aliens


by Abby York

New normal

Aiming up the waterfall

♥ Our Star by Debbie Rolfe Umel

Sometimes in life we often take
the road that seems so easy,
when all the while down deep inside,
we’re feeling kinda queasy

‘Cause doing what we know is safe
may not always be what’s right,
Nor will it help our souls to grow,
or our hearts to take flight

But you dear James you took a chance
and took the harder road,
not knowing where you would end up,
not always feeling bold.

Along the path, some hurdles jumped,
some tears you've surely cried,
staying true to who you are,
never changing what’s inside.

At times you may not have believed
your dreams were coming true,
we stood there cheering by your side, we
always saw you through.

This journey brought you to a place
where you so brightly shine,
This road though not well traveled
showed you places so Devine.

We see in you so many things
we all wish we could be...
You make us want to take that road
to take a chance, on "me"..

For in the sky a billion stars
they shine from up above,
But you’re the star that taught us
to believe, to ROCK, to love!!

Thank you James Durbin, for inspiring us all to
follow our dreams, to never take the easy road, and to

a poem by Angela Davis

What’s that?
I hear a name.
Inviting me to play his game.
That VOICE!! Encased in glass.
Freeze Frame!
Who is this guy?
Crazy James!

A plea I hear
“Give metal a chance”
Heart thumping, Clear,
Pitch perfect rants.
Oh my!
Look at those SWEET red pants
This guy can even dance.

My head is spinning….
Lacks direction
Tenor, Alto clef projections
Nowhere in recent recollection
Have these ears heard
Melodic Perfection.

On the spot...
He has me dancing
Melding genres..
Notes romancing..
Sound and sight..
Rhythmic enhancing
I’m hooked..
This man can SING!

Haiku by Eleanor Gorman

It's not for the wind
that we seek his charms, but
because he moves us.

Daddy Durbin: A Father’s Day Poem for James by Vickie Banks  

You stood alone, bruised to the bone; No sign of breaking day,
And did not think the stars could hear the screams you sent their way.
When so pure your spirit’s S.O.S. reached distant spires above,
Rescuer’s pierced hearts did break; so filled were they with love!

How could you see, in your mind's eye, what was in store for you?
That one once lonely, feeling lost; would soon turn into two!
But angels didn’t’ stop there, no; that is because they knew
That one plus one, when mixed with love doesn’t always equal two!

Yes, you knew you found the love of your life,
When you met that angel, soon to be your wife.
Gazing at each other, your hearts both felt so full.
Could there ever be, on this old earth, anything more beautiful?

 When blessings once, were few or none; doubtful thoughts begin to ask;
“When will I wake up from this dream—what makes me think it’s going to last?”
Same stars; whose hearts fell hard before, when soulful cries caressed night skies;
Are predisposed to rain, once more, their blessings poured from glistening eyes.

Is anything more beautiful than his woman to her man?
The stars above have answered--Placed it right there in your hands:
A tiny gift, so precious soft; caressed against your woman’s breast!
With once strong voice, you whisper now, “The world can have all of the rest.”

Three stand together--faithfully.  So much love flowing through their veins.
Should doubt you now your destiny?  Have the stars not made it crystal-plain?
While journey you on this orb’s soil, full of pleasure; wrought with pain,
You’ve but a glimpse of all the love, for you, dear soul, that still remains.

Durbin’s Biggest Fan! - by Vickie Banks

We’re a multi-flavored sundae
He’s the cherry on the top
We’re a Starbucks Coffee Grande
He’s the sweetness in the cup

We are each so very different
Yet, for him, our love’s the same
As we gather here to share his songs,
In harmony, we scream his name

Search, in vain, this crowd to find the one
Who cares most for this dear man
For each of us has staked our claim
To being Durbin’s biggest fan!

Durbin Fever - An Ode to the Durbin Chicks - by Vickie Banks

There’s a new thing happening to the women I know:
It starts with their ears--moves to their eyes,
Spreads so fast through their body
That it curls their toes!

It doesn’t seem to matter
If they are young or if they’re old;
And it sure enough will make red hot
Any heart that once was cold!

Once they get this, so called, “Durbin Fever;”
I’m afraid there’s just no cure.
They’ll gaze all day at photo threads
And listen to his voice, so pure.

Husbands and lovers around the globe
Are puzzled by the way
Their little darlings start to act;
Getting stranger by the day!

And, on more than one occasion,
You’ll hear those poor men say,
“Did you just call me ‘Durbin?!,’”
Or, “Did you just call me ‘James?!’”

Sorry daddy, please don’t go!
It’s just that we miss our Durbin so!
Can hardly wait until the day
We’ll hear angelic metal play!

Yes, someday soon, resounding voice;
To women’s hearts left pounding so,
Will sooth so many savage breasts
Directly from the radio!

Ode to Durbin Guys - By Vickie Banks

So, what’s up with my guy these days?
He’s acting in mysterious ways.
There are new terms he’s been saying all the time;
Like magical nuts, AWESOME, and optimistic prime!
He pulled his leathers out of the closet the other day;
And, you are not going to believe this;
But I caught him looking through my lingerie--
My long silk scarves, no less!

It’s not that I’m complaining though;
It’s really kind of hot!
He’s been singing and playing his guitar a lot more
And sporting the tail of a fox!

Lately, he holds me really tight;
And he’s been kissing the kids goodnight.
The other day, when he told me he loved me,
I saw tears welling up in his eyes.
So, no matter what’s come over him;
I must say this, at least,
He may not be James Durbin,
But he’s still my sexy beast!

"Inspiring" has got to be one of the most-used words to describe James. And if you don't believe it, here are over 50 letters to convince you.

Nancy Revelle: Dear James, There aren't enough words to describe how grateful, moved and inspired I am by you, your music, your family and by your beautiful soul. I know you're just a human being like all of us, but you seem so much more. I think what moves and inspires me the most about you is that you have shown, and are still showing all of us "ordinary people" that we CAN achieve our dreams even if there are significant hurdles in our paths; dreams that for some of us may have been buried for years. To see and experience what you have achieved already - multiply that by your incredible talent, your amazing voice, your sense of showmanship, and put that all inside you - such a humble, grateful, beautiful person who gives SO much back to those who are hurting, struggling and in pain - that affects me on a level I can't describe well enough to be satisfied that I've told you what my soul needs to say to you. I sound like a teenager but I'm 50 years old and still you move me to tears. Thank you for giving me back the gift of music (another very long story) and for making me believe and have faith in life again. I am forever your devoted fan - you are so very special to me, and I'm so proud of you. Love, Nancy (@Durbin8r)

Sherry Severino: James - Thank you so much for being who you are, and an inspiration to so many! The first time I ever watched Idol was your audition night, at my parents' house. I had just got off from work & went to pick up my kids. I was making a plate of dinner when I hear this bad ass voice coming over the TV. I literally hurdled over my daughter (sitting on the floor) to get to the living room, to see who the hell this guy was singing, LOL. I was instantly hooked! You are truely a breath of fresh air. I am so thankful for that night, it changed our lives. Not only was I blown away by your voice and inspired by your story, I have also met so many Durbinators that are now my true friends. My kids love you also, especially my daughter Cameron. She's been through a rough year of being bullied at school, and you've been such a mentor to her. She looks up to you. And although she still has some bad days, her whole outlook has changed thanks to YOU! I absolutely cannot thank you enough! We finally got to meet you at the Rock School Fund and it made her entire year! She has wanted nothing BUT to meet you, and she hasn't stopped talking about it ever since. She just got a bunny for Easter and she named her Jamie. I asked 'Why Jamie?'. She said because it sounds like the girl version to James. Haha, just thought I'd share that little tidbit with you. My son Christian is wanting to learn the guitar chords for your songs. I just found some tabs online for him. YAY! He loves your music! Anyway, from the bottom of my heart..THANK YOU, we love you Heidi and Hunter, and we will always be RBY! DURBINATOR FOR LIFE!! Love ~ Sherry Durb #952 @CrazyDurb952 (And THANK YOU for picking me for #FF!!! Made my year!)

Sebastian Ochoa: Hey James I have had a tough couple years, losing my son, my business and it's just been hard but your music keeps me going thank you so much @charko210

Kayla Elliott: James William Durbin; you are my idol. You are the person i look up to. You are the reason i don't give up on things i think are hard.You are the reason i still sing. For the longest time, i never had any faith in myself. I felt like i was worthless. I kept trying, because i knew thats what you would have wanted. I have grown as a singer, just by looking up to you, and BELIEVING that i can do whatever i put my mind to. I don't know if you will remember me or not but i was the one who gave you the ductape rose and ductape wallet at a concert in Scranton PA right after the parade. you liked them so much you gave me a bandanna and signed it "you rock michaela" I tweet you almost everyday Just to make sure you know i'm there and care. your fans love you. We all do. I have an entire wall dedicated to you. i am so proud to be one ofthe beautiful disasters. Or one of the outcast! And yes i am a Durbinator. When you were talking at the concert you looked out in the crowd and said i see alot of awesome shirts out there and looked straight at me and said " you know i drew that right? Thank you James Durbin. I will LOVE you forever. Tell him that it would make my life if he followed me on Twitter and that I love him soooooo soo much. Hes my everything. @Kayla258b

Norma Jean Cohen: Greetings James, I want you to know how much you've impacted my life. I was a fan of yours right from the get go of season10 and have been following you ever since. There was something special about you, the style and creativity that you have is undeniably charismatic. Singing like no buddies business was inspirational. Waiting each week to see what you would bring to us, made me eager to vote for another installment of entertainment the next week. My husband had noticed the amount of attention I was paying to you and mentioned aren't you a little old to be going googoo over such a young man. Well my husband is a little bit country and I've always been Rock n Roll, so I said to him, you have your Taylor Swift and I have my James Durbin. My Husband past away this January and had told me he wanted the rest of my life to be spectacular and left a note that simply read, "sweetheart I hope you dance". So when you were in Burbank for Kids Rock, I decided to dance on out and see you. That's when I met Sherry Severino and Michelle Desdanny. They took me under there wings, showed me the way to the Durbinators. Everyday now I have so many great friends and just like me they love your talent, they love what you stand for. Because of you James my life is so much fuller than I could have ever imagined after my Husband my best friend passed away. As Steven Tyler would say "it's a Beautiful Thing". Heaps of Love to you and your family, Norma Jean Cohen tweet @mothersgeek You signed my jacket in Burbank, I know you told me Steven Tyler signed yours, but sorry, my jacket is better than yours.

Faith Durbinator Greene: James William Durbin is the reason I don't give up on things that are hard.. He is my inspiration, I love him so much, and would do anything in the world just to meet him. Nothing anyone does or says will make me not like him. He has inspired me to do so much. I sing, and for the longest time I never had any faith in myself, I never thought I could do anything good. After James got voted off of American Idol, I knew I had to stand up for myself and do something, because that's what James did. When my choir teacher heard my voice she was amazed. I'm a very shy girl and she had no idea I had it in me. She wants me to start trying out for solos and such. For everything I've accomplished this year, I thank James. I love him. Meeting him would be so awesome. *James William Durbin; you are my hero. I love you so so so much. You mean SOO much to me. Youre the reason i always try, believe it or not. Things i think are hard, and just dont wanna do, i think of you, and think, i know James wouldnt want me to give up. So i keep trying. Id like to think of myself as your biggest fan, but im sure you get that alll the time. My choir teacher KNOWS i actually CAN sing now, before i saw you on Idol, i was so shy when it came to singing. You changed that for me. My choir teacher says i have a good future ahead of me if i keeep singing. And James, i want you to know, that its because of YOU i came out of my shell. You inspire me so.♥ my one and ONLY dream in the world is to meet you, i pray to God every night, because i want it so bad. James William Durbin, i love you.

@SimpleSum41821: Hey James I love you!S I also have Aspergers you're awesome , you're inspiring we love you James

Cecilia Kirby: James thank you so much for daring to try auditions again. Because of that you have given me so much. I can cry openly again hadnt done that since I was 12 or 13. I began to understand why I am different. You dont just inspire the young but the older generations to like me. Your the best role model and singer I have ever seen on Idol. Much respect to you and your family, also wishing all the success you want. .James I never understood why I always felt different then others even though I am a twin. I knew I my thinking is quite like most people and in my family it wasnt explained to us what made us different. We were told how to think and be accepted and did not dare talk back. So I kept a lot things inside and just felt I was in the wrong family. I learned to adapt so that I appeared like everyone else around me. I never spoke how I really felt about things because I would have been told I was wrong and other things. You see the biggest bullies as I was growing up was my parents they bullied me my sis and brother. We all were different. I know now that my sister(twin) my brother and I are autistic to some degree. I would not have known this if you had not appeared on AI and I would have always felt something was wrong with. I am so grateful that you came on AI. I meant a lot of people who had someone that is autisic that I began to research and think back to my child hood and now. It freed me and made me realize I am not the only one that sees things a little different at times and other things. "That is the one most likely to laugh at inappropriate times. I am 66 years old and never understood why I did certain things that most people dont do now and I am eternally grateful to you and all the Durbinators. May your life be rich full.

@RoxyDurbinator: Besides your amazing talent you are a great person & role model! Your music fills my heart! I'll always support & love You! Fan for Life

Jaime Nelson: Dear James, when i saw your audition i became an instant fan . You have an amazing voice and youre a really seet guy. my favorite song is Screaming. I can totally relate to it. Thanks for being an Inspiration. i also wanted to say that I too am a huge WWE fan. I would love to meet you someday and when I do i want to have a short wrestling conversation because it would be awesome to hear your thoughts in person about certain storylines and such. I saw you during the Idol tour when you came to Providence, RI. I was the only one in my section up in the cheap seats where a side view was that had a big sign for you. it said JAMES DURBIN IS AWWESOME!. I will be wearing a WWE shirt whenever I can finally meet you and get to see you rockin the stage live on your tour. ROCK ON !!! @JaimeRKOfan

Sydney Bird: When I say James inspires me, I'm not messing around. I have already written two songs and three poems all dedicated to him. He's showed me that just because I have Tourette's doesn't mean I can't do anything, and that I should never let anything or anybody get in my way. I am going to be an American Idol one day - and all those people who insult me now, the way my mom and brothers and sisters give me weird looks when I say I want to be a musician? They won't do that anymore. Maybe other people will, but that doesn't matter. My family thinks I'm nothing but a joke. When I become an American Idol they won't think that anymore. And the only reason I have any real courage to try is because of James. When I say he saved my life, I'm not kidding around. James Durbin saved my life. ♥ @LonGgoneLove

@Marie90501: James, on the 1st day I was so inspired by your story & what you were trying to do for your family. You have taught me to not give up and to believe in myself.

Anne Madden: I would like to say to this group of amazing people that I think I have become more of a Fan of all of you than James after reading these beautifully,lovingly soul baring autobiographies.....I have never felt so much love in one reading.....I don't think from any other form of communication medium have I personally ever witnessed such....I am just a Good Fan of James but after this....I am in AWE of each and every one of you.....You Guys inspire me and bring me even lower to the ground in the best of humbling ways.....I bow down to all of you and I am not worthy...Each and every One of You Are Amazing! And it is a great honor to be held in your esteem... thank you.

@jimkohl: James has convinced my daughter with Aspergers that she can do great things. I always told her that, but she sees him and believes it.

Marissa Erickson: If he did my story about how I meet him and I watch American idol in 2009 and 2005 and 2003 and 1004 and 20012 and I wanted James Durbin do my story and this is In my world to my story to James Durbin I got more stroys for you from my hart to James Durbin ti is his muic of live and love to his Flamy and freands and more and his Dand i looked up to more and then now i have a hart to him of muic of rock ages of more muic. this is my true stroy how i meet james Durbin in prosn he called my name and tiilling this to marissa Erickson wthat is my name and i say to him tis marissa Erickson and in the crowd is me and plzz get her up on stage he speaks to crowd after set on DURBIN DAY, Santa Cruz boardwalk 5/14/11 JAMES DURBIN addressing the crowd after he performs three songs at Durbin Day at the Boardwalk.

@durbarockinator: i loved that you only did 1 slow song and even that was beautiful you have this way of making all the slow songs interesting anyone else who does a slow song its good but boring you have that touch of rock majic. i have always looked up to you as a mentor b/c my life was just like yours and i was just like u in a way and just these past few month my life has changed & transformed so much march has been one of the most luckiest for me so much has happened to me sometimes its just unreal

Wanda York Best: James, it's hard for me to even find the words to tell you how you have changed my life. When my family and friends ask me how did a 22yr. old guy from SC California have such an effect on the life of a 56yr. old woman in NC, I really don't know what to say. It's true they have noticed my 27lb. Weight loss and my new happier than ever attitude, but for me it's So much more than that. It's being taken back to my teen years when music was such a huge part of my life when I sang to every song and dared to stay up past curfew to hear Dick Clark announce the top 100 on New Years Eve. It's letting the song take over as I dance around the house while doing housework. It's the way I look at people, with or without disabilities, and wonder how can I help them. It's making sure that I give the pizza delivery guy a bigger tip and wondering what his dreams are. It's teaching my grandson never to bully anyone and stand up for those that are bullied by others. It's the realization that I can do anything as long as I never give up. Thank you is just not enough! But it's all I have, so Thank You with all myheart. I will always be "Right Behind You"! Love, Wanda Best , @Durbinator1077

Wendy Liu: James, every time I think about how you are bullied since elementary school, and misunderstood by others for things you have no control over, I'm constantly amazed by how you can, after all that happened, retain such a beautiful soul, loving nature, and optimistic outlook! You inspire me to always look for beauty in human nature, light in the darkest hours, and dream in the coldest reality. Ever since junior high, away from my dad, and being the oldest daughter in the family, I always was the one taking care of the family. And then after I got married, again I was always the one taking care of the kids, the family affairs, and helping my you brought back something I have neglected for many many years. You inspire me to drop my guard and the pretense, and look for my true self and spontaneity. Yeah, you did, you made that much of a difference in my life. I know you are going to say, "aww". Yeah, but really you did. :) I hope I hope you have concerts in Asia one day, and I hope I hope I can go see you in husband. When I first heard you, I was immediately drawn to the purity in your voice, the raw emotion in your performance, and the candidness with your feelings. It is like I was awaken by your voice; you took me back to a place long long time ago; concert. No matter what. I will always be there, along with the other Durbs to support you to push you swimming upstream @wendyucliu

Carolyn Sellers: James, Your accomplishments are amazing. You have inspired so very many people, friendships have been created because of you, and it's only just begun. I love you not only for your voice, which is awesome, but who you are as a person. Your sincerity, your ability to connect, and the "whole you" are meant to be seen and heard by all. Thanks for coming into my life! Carolyn Sellers (@Chazbosmom)

Tracy Checchi: James, it is really hard to explain how much you mean to me and how much you inspire me. The minute your audition aired on American Idol I felt immediatly connected to you. I have struggled with anxiety and ocd for a very long time and knowing that there was someone out there on tv being so brave and strong about their struggles really made me feel like everything I had been through was okay. I would watch you on Idol every single week and your performances always made me smile and were just magic. When you started talking about wrestling I knew you were going to be my idol forever. I've loved wrestling for over 10 years and not everyone understood it but I loved that someone I admired so much loved it just as much! When I met you this summer and again at the St Patricks Day parade and we talked about wrestling and I gave you the action figures were some of the best days of my life. I loved talking wrestling with you and it just made me feel like there was someone out there who really understood something so important to me! I admire you so much! You go for your dreams and dont let anything stop you and that is an important lesson for me to always remember! Your music always makes me feel better and every time I watch you or listen to you I just feel so happy! Thank you for everything you have done for me and so many others. I love you very much! Tracy @xoTracyyyxo

Shelby Baker: You remind us of how quickly things can change and in darkest of times that suddenly your dreams can come true. Your story with Heidi reminds us that those who can take you at your so called worst of times are the ones to be there when you are able to turn it around. Simple things that are not so simple. Proud you represent my corner of the world in such a positive light.

Paige Turner: I think you are simply an amazing young man! I wish you so much happiness in your future endeavors! I know you will be as successful as you want to be. Congrats on your recent marriage to Heidi! Now, when is Hunter going to get a new baby sister or brother? LOL Durbinator #30 Twitter: PWET48

Katey McMahon: James, when I was about seven years old I was diagnosed with Tourette's Syndrome. I'm now 19 years old and still dealing with it. I never had any interest in Idol nor had I ever watched it before your season. My mom decided to give the show a try last year (despite the fact that I was unwilling to watch it). She convinced me to at least watch your audition because you had Tourette's as well. Your story brought tears to my eyes and your voice was too amazing for words. You amazed me at how confident you seemed in yourself despite your disabilities, and you weren't even embarrassed about telling anyone you had Tourette's (I still get embarrassed admitting it to people who don't know from time to time so I admire you for that). The first thing I remember saying to my mom when your audition was over was "I'm definitely voting for him." My mom asked me if I was going to watch the rest of the show, and I told her I would only because I wanted to see you win. I remember my heart pounding every week hoping you would get by. When you made the top 24 I couldn't wait to vote (although I had to google how because I was new at it haha). I bawled my eyes out when you were eliminated and spent a good portion of the next day watching your Idol performances on youtube. You continue to inspire me every day. You show people that even celebrities have flaws, and that's what makes them beautiful. You are perfectly imperfect, and that's why your fans adore you. You inspire me to be myself and not care what others think, and it makes me so happy to know that someone else with Tourette's has made it as far as you have in this world. I've sent you fanmail twice; I saw you live at the Idols tour in Wilkes-Barre; I met you in Scranton PA and gave you gifts, one of which I wrote my twitter handle on, and you followed me that next Friday. Thank you for everything James, and may only good fortunes and blessings come to you, Heidi, and Hunter. @ilovemusic1125

Janie Hubert: James..There don't seem to be enough words to completely express how thankful I am that you have blessed my life. I was hooked with your first audition. I fell in love with your voice, your personality and everything you stand for. You continue to inspire and amaze me every day. When I'm having an "off" day I listen to your music and the next thing I know I'm singing (not well I might add..LOL) , dancing and rockin' out and I find the things that were causing my day to be rough quickly vanish. I too was diagnosed with Tourette's and have taken alot of ridicule and jokes because of it. I used to try and hide it the best I could, but thanks to you, I no longer do that. I have learned to accept my differences. I am also grateful to you for all the wonderfully awesome friends I have made because of you. So, thank you from the bottom of my heart for all you do and all you stand for. Much love to you always..Janie Hubert @addigirl1

Crystal Finney Wright: Dear James, I just want you to know that I have been a fan of yours since day one & never thought as much for ANY artist as I do for you & thats the truth! Your voice just blew me away,I couldnt get enough! You could sing ANYTHING when you was on Idol & you proved that week after week.I loved your voice,your style,your look,and your wonderful heart.I always would write to u on twitter & utube,you actually added me to your real utube as a friend when u was on idol.I always told u in my letters to never change.Alot of stars change once they get the fame but you havent & I'm so glad! I admire your & Heidi's relationship & the way you make a point to let everyone know that you are a one woman man and you LOVE your woman,thats the way a REAL man should be!When you was on Idol,my dad found out he had cancer & watching you sing everyweek gave me something to look forward too and try to get my mind off of the pain.When you sang ''Without you'' I broke down with you ,cause I was so afriad of losing my dad....My dad loved you also & he is a country fan BUT he came to my house one day and we watched your last performances on Idol,when you was singing ''Love Potion # 9'' and my dad said ''Now that boy can sang!!!'' We both were upset that you got sent home...upset isnt even the word for me,I couldnt believe my reaction,I screamed and cried for hours,my kids thought I had lost it,lol...which I had.But I knew things would work out for you,just was gonna miss seeing you the next week.My dad has since passed away,on Oct.7,2011 but not of cancer they actually got rid of the cancer but then a few days later after they said he was cancer free he had a massive heart attack and died a week later...I was with him all week and the day he died I was pulling up to the hospital and ''Without you'' came on the radio,I had a bad feeling and when I went in they said he had just passed away...That song was played at his funeral by you and was listed on his program.I cant listen to it now though ,it hurts too bad.... I love your album & glad you have pulled it off,I always knew that you would!!! I want to meet you soo bad & hear you sing live but money is always tight around here,I'm hoping I will be able to go to the Winston Salem show at Ziggys.I am glad you set an example for people that are going through hardships in their lives,& showed them that they CAN do it,no matter what,anything is possible.One thing I hated growing up was a bully and I always took up for anyone that was being bullied,I got bullied myself at times and I know how bad that hurts.You are a wonderful human being who has the voice of an angel!!! Keep rocking and staying true to yourself and you will be fine! I'm so glad I got to meet you,even though I havent actually REALLY met you,I met your soul ♥....Love,Crystal.Finney.Wright @Durbinlover4eva ......P.S.My hubby loves you too

Christina Moseley Pinckard: As a child I grew up feeling different, different than the normal kids. My dad called me dumb, stupid, retarded, among other colorful words, when he had to stop beating me senseless. For many years I lived with depression, and everywhere I looked people seem to bring me down, my dad, my mom, my family. Even my grandmother, who to this day degrades me. I could not find my way in life. I graduated high school, despite the depression and the loneliness of a small school. When I say small it was 300 students from Pre-k to 12th grade. I tried to attend college, but my life was screwed up. My dad was cheating on my mom, and my great-grandfather passed away. By the time I was 23, my parents were divorced and I was believing what he was telling me, "I was worthless, stupid and would never marry or have kids." The depression ruled my life, and when I was depressed, I would not eat. I refused to do so, so my weight was 90lbs total. It was deep. So deep in fact that I was thinking of suicide. Although I didn't act on it, the thoughts were there. After another year of this, I met someone, a wonderful, loving, great, man. A year after we got married, we had a kid, he was different as well. He didn't fit in act "normal". The school system finally diagnosed him with autism and moved to him to a better school system that had a great woman of a school teacher for him. Her name was Shannon. Shannon taught Micheal, loved him and guided him to become a more successful kid. Then comes along Matthew, this child is different as well, he was diagnosed with Autism as well. Although he is in a different school system, he is worse off than my oldest son. Two kids with autism, the depression still there in my heart, and mind. Finally Mrs. Shannon said, Christina you need to get to a doctor and get diagnosed. So I did and soon realized that I was autistic as well. It was hard at first to realize that I truly was different, and in fact took me a while to realize it. After the fact, I came to realize that my dad and others in my life were wrong, in so many ways. My husband was then diagnosed with cancer, talk about a deep and heartening blow to the heart and gut. We fought it and pulled through it. Despite that he lost 90% of his hamstring I encouraged him to go back to school. Soon he was going to college and becoming a teacher, something he has always loved to do. Soon he was going back to school and battling yet 2 more cancers. All of this time I am watching him and feeling sorry for myself. Soon I realized that he was facing far more than I was, and decided that if he could go back to school, then I could go back to school. So a year into going into school, I am feeling a bit lost and lonely. I am working as a tutor now, when you pop on Idol, you inspired me to stand up for myself and be strong. You sparked something in me, something I always wanted to do, even though college was part of my dream, the other part of my dream was to become a writer. Soon, I am writing a new story, called The Riftrider's Return. A friend told me of a website that I can publish for free on all of the e-readers. My book is out there on e-readers. I have written 2 books now, The secret of the Forest is my other one. I write under the name of C.N. Pinckard. Because of you, I have self published TWO books. And now recently, I have been picked up by a freelance publisher who loves my book and will soon be in print. James you are much greater inspiration to me and my disability and showing that No matter what obstacles we have, we can face them head on and tell them to f'off! I am living my own dream and getting what I want to do out there. I am entertaining people, not from singing, but other creative ways. Writing. Last year while you were on tour, you received a few of my poems. I hope you enjoyed them as much as I have loved writing them. Soon I will be finished with more and they will be in a book as well as the short story I have written for hunter. Thank you! From the depths of my heart and soul.. I am a 40 year old woman, but you inspire me. Thanks a Million C.N. Pinckard @kelinrose

Marylyn Gardner: Your audition opened my eyes to Aspergers, plus I admire the fact you're a hero to a lot of people who have Aspergers and are able to look at you as a mentor. What touched me the most is when you acknowledged Cole and dedicated the Heavy Metal performance to him. I was awed by all your performances on AI then when your album came out I could see what a talented writer and singer you are - so glad that AI put you through as I would never have been able to be introduced to you- Rock On James and I always will support you - a forever fan Proud to be Durbinator #971

Debbie Rolfe Umel: James, my son Noah would like you to know that he couldn't have made it through some very difficult bullying instances at school this year, without thinking about you, and all that you have overcome. You may remember that Noah is 11 years old, and he writes/plays the guitar and drums/loves music, loves theater, and is just so very talented just like you were (and still are!) at that age. He also was diagnosed with Aspergers shortly after his 9th birthday. This year has been a very difficult year for Noah at school with the bullying, and Noah even ran for Student Council, with an "anti-bullying" campaign as his platform. He let his class know about his Aspergers, and about how he was inspired to be and stay strong by watching your journey on American Idol, and now, your journey AFTER. He had one very serious incident this year where a girl and fellow classmate, actually made a Youtube video that made fun of him, threatened him, and put him down. She ended up being suspended for a day, BUT because my son is such a giving and FORGIVING soul, he has now embraced this girl and is friends with her, because he knows that she must also be going through tough times, in order to do something so cruel, at such a young age. As his mom I want to say THANK YOU not only for sharing your GIFT of performing and music with the world, but also your love of your beautiful family and especially your "Be a STAR" campaign. I truly hope you know how blessed the kids are that get to have a visit from you and the wonderful WWE stars, but also the kids and parents of kids who just HEAR about it as well. Keep living, keep loving, keep inspiring, and know that this is the path that God meant for you to take. ~ God bless, Noah and Debbie Umel @DrumminDurb

Lisa Michelle Lilianstrom: James I have voted for you every single week on the show and even though you didnt win you will always be my American Idol. I also have Aspergers Syndrome and too was bullied in school and misunderstood. I love music and singing and you are my inspiration, you showed me that its okay to be yourself because before I was afraid to be myself but you showed me that its okay. I cant not wait to see more of you in the future! I wish you always the best and I cant wait to see you in concert one day! @monalisa3540

Brooke_Lyn: Dear James, We watched our TV’s week after week in absolute amazement and awe all because of you! You won us over so fast with your soft heart, sense of humor, phenomenal vocals and stage presence never ever to be matched! You've never disappointed as the rare natural born talent you are! Even though your life has done a 180 you've stayed humble and above all you've stayed true to yourself! Thank you for letting us share in your world! A beautiful place to be! God Bless you and your family @Lyn_mlp

Debi Thompson-Boring: ‎James... I will never forget how excited I was while watching your audition on Idol, when they said Santa Cruz, Ca!! I immediately googled your name, and imagine my shock when I realized..... OMG! That's HIM!!! The *him*, was YOU singing While My Guitar Gently Weeps with the WAE. I still remember when you came up on that stage and began singing, and wondering.... OMG! Who IS this kid!!! First you made chills run up and down my spine... and then you made tears roll down my cheek. I don't get moved too often by watching someone perform, but wow! I even caught my hubby wiping away a tear! Fast forward to Idol... Of course from the first moment I saw you, I KNEW this was a season that I absolutely could not miss!!! Every single week you gave me something to look forward too. It was a very difficult year for me, and thank god for you cuz you brought such joy in my life. (and yes... I'm the one that started crying at your album signing party LOL. Sorry 'bout that) Anyway, What a joy to watch you grow, and bloom, and fall more deeply in love with Heidi through the whole process. You are such an amazing person that have touched SOOO many lives and I really, truly hope you can comprehend how much joy and understanding you've brought into the world. I really want to thank HEIDI though... cuz if not for her.... we wouldn't have YOU! ROCK ON... and BIG HUGS from a Gramma in Scotts Valley! Durbinator #1133

Jenni Stickle: Gosh I don't even know where to begin. James...You have been such an inspiration to me and my children. As the mom of a son with autism, you give me hope that he will grow up and achieve his dreams. My son idolizes you. He even dressed like you for Halloween and has done two school projects on you. Every teacher at the school now knows who James Durbin is!!! My oldest daughter is 11 and bullied at school. When she found out what your song SCREAMING Was about..she's decided that if you can survive the bullies, she can too. She listens to that song constantly to lift her spirits. She's got adhd and possible bi-polar and a rough road ahead of her. But you lift her with your music. My youngest is five and just rocks out to you constantly. I'll catch her out on the trampoline jumping to herself singing one of your songs. She's got some of her own medical issues and on rough days, she'll lay and just listen to you and it makes her feel better. We love you and hope to get to meet you someday. Your voice is also literally could bring people to tears by singing the telephone book or have us rock out as you sang the tax forms! A true gift from God. You've turned this girl who use to listen to all country into someone that is now giving Metal a Chance!! And a special THANK YOU to Heidi and Hunter for sharing James with us! Heidi you are truly an amazing lady and an inspiration yourself! It's been a one heck of a year full of blessings and I'm sure sad time and hard times feeling like a single mom...but one can honestly see the love and admiration you have for James and Hunter shine in your eyes and flow with the words you speak of James and to him. Hunter is such a happy little boy and that is because he's got great parents like you guys. Much love and appreciation from Jenni, Durbinator #927 @karabearsmom

Lisa Launt Davis: James, After watching your video and audition Wed. February 9,2011 I knew my life would never be the same and that is a good thing because my life needed something like what I have found since I joined your fan base and voted for you while you were with the show and beyond to the present day. I have a purpose and my life has meaning now,something I had for longer than 10 years and didn't think I would find again, so thankful I was wrong. My life has not been an easy one filled with challenges but doing what I do in your fan base every day helps me through it and I know I can get through every challenge or obstacle and that in the end everything is going to be ok and that I can believe in myself and can get through anything and there is hope. I am a fan for life and look forward to the continuation of your story. @LisaDavis46

Patti Jamieson: Thanks for rocking my world James. Much love and rock n roll ~ @Radio_JamesD

Frances Hamilton: Can I just say that James and his story, Heidi and Hunter have inspired and affected my life in so many ways that I can not find the words to express how wonderful following their journey with all my Durbfriends has been!!! I love that boy, his family and now his new band!! GrannyDurb #1085

Lynda Rogers: James, From the moment I first heard your amazing voice on AI, I knew that you were destined to be a huge star. Hearing your story and all you have had to overcome gave me the hope and encouragement to carry on with my own struggles. Your fierce determination to succeed in the face of all those who doubt you inspires me to stand up and be proud to be an outcast! The love that you and Heidi share gives me faith that love truly can overcome all. The ways in which you have and continue to inspire me are far to numerous to list! You define inspiration! Because of you, I joined my first social group when you were on AI and found myself interacting with and forming friendships with people for the first time in my life. I am now in 8 groups on FB and regularly connecting with others! That is HUGE for me and I owe it all to you! Keep on doing what you do, keep on being the amazing person that you are! I am a fan for life! Much Love & Respect, Lynda Rogers ... Undercover Freak, Beautiful Disaster, Proud Durbinator #842, and Faithful member of the OutCastArmy! YOU ROCK JAMES DURBIN! COME TO CANADA SOON!!

Elsine Perez: James, You have inspired me to step out of my comfort zone and participate more fully in life...I am a very shy person and always tried to hide so I would not be noticed. I just think to my self what if James had decided not to step out of his comfort zone I would be missing out on the one and only James Durbin! I know your inspiration and encouragement came from your beautiful wife Heidi (your "rock") and Bless her, but what if you decided you could not take the step. I also admire your love for & Heidi are so fortunate to have found each other, and love you as a Dad to Hunter. James you are an amazing artist & entertainer. You have the mark of greatness: humble, passionate for music & fans, showmanship, hot vocals, generous spirit, connection to your music, love for audience. In my opinion you will have a long & prolific carreer ahead of you. My family & I will enjoy following you on your path to greatness!

Holly Greenawalt: Dearest James, Hey Crazy! Geez, I don't even know where to start. First, I'll start by saying a great big gigantic THANK YOU. THANK YOU for being YOU. THANK YOU for inspiring so many people. THANK YOU for being so great to us fans. THANK YOU for bringing me to these wonderful friends, fellow Durbinators, that I never would have met if it weren't for you. THANK YOU for showing me that no matter what the circumstances, you CAN makes changes with the things in your life that you're not happy with. As a teenager, I was a fan of a few artists, 2 in particular. Bon Jovi and I can't believe I'm going to admit this but New Kids on The Block. LOL However, I have never really been a fan until I saw your AI audition. Your story touched my heart in so many ways. You didn't let anything hold you back. You took a chance, to live your dream and support your family. I knew you were going to make it big. Your voice just floors me. I will never forget sitting in that Tavern in Atlantic City, NJ, about 10 feet from you, and hearing you sing. The only word I can think of to describe that experience is POWERFUL. It's one thing to watch videos of you performing online and seeing you on TV, but seeing you in person is a whole different experience. I am in awe every time. You are so AMAZING. I saw you on the AI Tour in Reading, PA. From that point on, I was REALLY hooked. From kindergarden to third grade, I played the piano. In fourth grade I played the trombone. (that didn't go very well!) At age 22, I started taking drum lessons. I have ALWAYS loved music but somehow life got in the way, between working full time, getting married, buying a house. I got away from music. Seeing you on tour inspired me to get back into it so I took up drum lessons. I joined the Durbinator Facebook group, which not only keeps me informed of your interviews, articles, pictures, videos, etc. but they have also become my Durb Family. I drove 4 1/2 hours to NJ, by myself, and met up with Sandy, who I only knew through Facebook and Twitter, to see you perform. We had just met at 1:30pm that afternoon! I also thought up the idea and organized the Durbinator March at the Scranton, PA parade, solely to show you that we are and always will be "Right Behind You". I drove those 3 hours by myself, stayed in a hotel for the first time ever, by myself. (the shared room door creeped me out a little. LOL) What I'm trying to get at is...YOU taught me how to live again. I never would have done those things, even 2 years ago, if it weren't for you. I had said in the first letter I wrote to you that I felt as though we are on a journey together, because I was changing things in my life that I'm not happy with. I had been working as a used car sales(wo)man (I bet you never would have guessed that, huh? for the past year and a half and absolutely hated it. One and a half weeks after the parade, I got a new position at work. Great things have been happening for me. And I truly believe you have helped that happen. You have given me the inspiration and motivation to keep going, keep trying and not give up. Your music has helped me through some very tough times. I absolutely adore you, Heidi and little Hunter (and Blake and Dylan!) I pray for you & your family, and the band and their loved ones every single night. You ALL are such genuine, good people. I am so very grateful for the wonderful opportunities I have had with you guys. I cannot say THANK YOU enough for everything you have done for me, from being my inspiration, being patient and understanding while I shake uncontrollably when I meet you, (no matter how hard I tried, I could not get that darn picture frame out of the bag! LOL) the follow on Twitter. Saying THANK YOU just isn't enough. I want you to know that I will be "Right Behind You", every single step of the way. "No matter where you go, my heart is sure to follow." Much love to you all. Sincerely, Holly Greenawalt @holly_hg

Darlene Whitesitt: Link James, Thank you for auditioning for AI. It was your time. I thank God you have Heidi and Hunter in your life. Thank you for coming to Portland and singing at the Bing Lounge. You are making my life a little brighter right now. Thank you for loving your fans as much as we love you. You are so good to us. Here's to the next time I see you. Maybe this time I can get my magazine, ticket stub, CD covers, etc signed. You are the best and I hope you make Idols ratings go through the roof on Thursday. I get introduced as your #1 fan in the Portland/Metro area. Kick some ass this week. I am Glassfalcon64 on twitter. You are an amazing person. When you get a chance take your wife out to dinner, I wish I could say it would be on me, but I don't have a way to make that happen. Maybe there is a gift card in your future. Anyway thanks for bringing joy into my life and keep rocking. @glassfalcon64

Eleanor Gorman: James, not only do you have an incredible voice, incredible talent, but to me you (& your family) represent all the good that can happen in life if we're open to it. I am so happy when I listen to you sing or watch you perform, even after a sad song, because there's this energy you exude that's really powerful, extremely moving. I am inspired by how you have embraced who you are and how you seem to celebrate your gifts everytime you hit that stage. What's so magical, is when you perform we get to celebrate with you and think about our own possibilities, and have a blast at the same time. Wow! Love your music, so proud of you and your family! Love, Eleanor Gorman @ellieca1673

Jason 'jayman' Porta: I met you in Scranton at the mall, and you reminded me what it is like to be a truly gracious person- thank you so much for being an inspiration for autistics like myself - whenever I have a bad day, I turn on me computer, with its desktop background set to the pic of you and I at the mall and say to myself "if James can make it through, so can I!" - jporta2

Debbie Sparks: James, your AI audition caught me by surprise. Your personality, your heart, your style, your voice, your love came pouring out. i was feeling a bit old, thought emotions were settled..something for the young, but when i saw you perform, the years melted away, and i just felt the music and emotion you give when you perform. You have a talent that has no bounds. forever a fan Debbie Sparks - @hlydurbinbatman

@Libby91:    James, life is a one-way street, and we are not coming back. May yours take you to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Good luck!

Carol Dean: I don't even know how to begin to say how much James and his music mean to me! The way that his voice, his presence just spoke to my soul somehow defies explanation. I wonder sometimes if it's that part of me that always felt somehow set apart from those around me that heard and responded to a kindred spirit in James. That truly awe inspiring voice of his has touched me on so many levels...the simply sweet beautiful notes, the low guttural sounds, that gut wrenching wail. He can take me from joy to tears and back again over and over. Thank you a million times over James! I am now and always will be a loyal foot soldier in James Durbin's Outcast Army! @CarolAnn917


Sheri Sherrard Kowalski: Tell James I'm coming to his Maryland show so I can thank him in person for being such an inspiration to me. His determination helps me get thru pain-filled days/nights and has inspired me to reach for my dreams & write my novel. I even went to see him at the Rochester, NY AI concert 4 days after getting out of the hospital following major spinal surgery! I'd do it all over again! This time I'm after a picture for my life to be complete! @sherrard47

Kristine Van Handel: James Durbin inspires me because despite all the obstacles life put in his way and all those who told him "You can't!" he STILL went for and achieved his dreams! The bullies will NEVER take him down! @wiadamfan

Chris Soest: Wow James has taught me so much. Like never to give up no matter how big the obstacle is. To believe in yourself. James and his music make me happy. There's so much more his music his voice are amazing. Hes a role model, l love the way he gives back. He's truly an outstanding singer,performer,and a family man.

Chazzie LoyalDurb Medley: James has been such an inspiration to me. In Oct, I had a heart attack and have been battling chest pains, depression and anxiety since then. His music has been the one bright spot in my life and it has managed to help keep me going, especially now that my life has completely fallen apart in the past two weeks. His music is the only thing that has been able to make me happy and give me peace. He gives me strength and the hope that no matter how bad things get, they can always get better. I owe everything to James and to my Durb Family...@Durbinator967

Rona Jose: Dear James, im one of your million fans here in Manila, Philippines! I like you since the first day of audition,i even saved your name on my phonebook so i wont forget your name..i'm was so happy that the american idol tour includes our country,usually it's just around US. we stayed for 6 hours in the hotel lobby trying our luck to meet you and we we're never got disappointed. i had a chance to meet you and had a picture with you and got my shirt signed by you. next day we went to you mall tour in gloritta 4 to have my cd signed.i hope you remember that i even wear the shirt that you signed.. that was the best day of my life and i wont forget that wonderful moment! thank you for making me (and of course all of your fans) extremely happy! dont stop making good music! we love love you! i wish you all the best in life! we miss you here in philippines! <3

Abby York: James, I just wanted to give you and your lions a big thank you for giving everyone such an awesome spring tour! You guys were greater than great, I look back at idol days and then look now and wow what a difference - you have grown and expanded so much you're so much different now and you have gotten even better! You really do inspire me like a brother this probably sounds weird.

I still have not had my dreams lived but since march everything good has happened to me I cant believe it sometimes! On march 11 I saw my first james durbin show in my backyard pretty much, and on march 30 you followed me on twitter and also in march my fansite for you got picked and won! I was in shock of all that I always felt like a loser and outcast loner and I could never sleep, no one understood me except for my mom and sister. I never really believed I could do all the things that I have done since march. March really was my luck of the irish this year…I see you as this mighty super hero - the new superman!

I don’t know if you knew or saw me but I have gone to 2 of your shows, the accoustic in Clearwater,FL
And amplified in Biloxi, MS which was so good !! I really wanted to meet you but I didn’t get to - I was stuck in the concert still with a phone that crashed as buckcherry prepared and I couldn’t just leave my mom or sister and them be worried. But I knew I had to follow you when you were done and left I knew you were out there I could feel your energy too strong. It killed me when we finally got out there and you were gone. I did meet your drummer jeff and he was very cool and nice. That was the best birthday - I had a lot of fun and you guys killed it and filled the whole place with your energy, the next day I had my tour shirt on and everyone would stop me and ask if I saw james durbin??! One staff lady said “"I didn’t get to see his concert but I did talk to him” And a roulette dealer said "did you see james durbin?! He killed it” Made me happy that everyone loved you. I walked proudly!!

So I had an idea since I missed you guys I was going to send my tour shirt for you all to sign or whoever is able to and I also had stuff I made for all of you, I hope you like it but if you don’t its ok... inner realness is always best. And im really hoping I get to see you guys again july 27 - An adventure I really want to do
My sister can see her friend, I can see my friend passing KY. Maybe even get my first tattoo! And then james durbin and the young lions! that’s my meditation I keep saying and feeling in my head and inner gut
Mabe it will come to reality

Thank you for everything you do James, you're awesome and you truly rock hard core \m/ \m/

Keep rocking up the river,
Outcastarmy abby

Ps: I was thinking if you wanted to you could write on this shirt “captain james and the young lions”
You don’t have to..but that would be awesome!
But anything you decide to do will be awesome nuff
Thank you so much and hope you enjoy your stuff
There was a shirt I made for you that I thought you would really appreciate and love..mabe not..yea I think you would! But I need more time so i'll give it to you in july
Rock on \m/